After NUS

I will be working for....

Thank you so much Lord for this. It's one less thing to worry about, but the level of anxiety lifted off is really significant. Now I can focus more on more urgent issues at hand, such as my FYP due in less than two weeks.

Thank you Robs for telling me about this company!!! I had two rounds of interviews, but it was mainly because the operations manager had a meeting and hence I was asked to come back for a second round. Both interviews were pleasant ones. The first one was solely with the HR manager, and at first he appeared kinda...not so friendly. Haha. I guess because it was too early in the morning??? 8 am what. But I smiled and smiled and smiled a lot, and after a while he began to smile too and became more engaged in the conversation. Actually, he wanted to to speak more than hear answers from me I guess haha. It was really good I did extensive prior research on the company, and I had a lot of things to add when he was telling me stuff about the company.

Oh and that black NUS clearbook served its purpose well too. It contained all my interview arsenal such as copies of my resume, NUS transcript, cover letter, reference list, certificates from previous part-time jobs and even pictures from the Singapore Scholarship awarding ceremony.

The second interviewer was a really nice Australian guy (the company's head office is based in Australia). At first he was just looking at the application form I filled up which was handed out by their company when I first came. An attention grabber was my stint at the Grand Canyon (for the first interview too!). Then I offered to let him see my certificate if he's interested. He said he was so I gave him the whole of my NUS clearbook and he began to leaf through the contents one by one and asked me questions about them, which I gleefully answered. And then of course he had to ask me about civil engineering stuff.

This was the most interesting part!!! I couldn't believe myself!!! Thank you Lord for letting me be able to communicate to him using civil engineering jargon.

Actually the most important thing I guess is my genuine eagerness and enthusiasm to work in this field and for their company. I am really glad that I didn't totally give up on pursuing a career related to my field of study. It was only very recently that my views were broadened, that there are other possible starting points in engineering other than DESIGN WORK which I do not want to do (remember my post about my first interview??? haha)

For this one, I will be out in the field. I will get my hands dirty and I will be learning through a hands-on approach. My eyes will witness how a field abuzz with cranes and construction workers would finally transform into this beautiful and exciting new downtown and tourist attraction.

Then one day further down the road, I can point to the structures that beckon and tell my kids "Mommy helped build this thing!" Haha:)

PS To be honest, the reason why I seriously began to consider being a civil engineer, is that my would-be grandfather-in-law is one one of the greatest civil engineers in the whole of America. He is a world-class engineer and he even carries the name of the love of my life, who was named after him. Yes there is a cheesy part in this post =p

WTF

I am really sick and tired of all this school shit.

Happy

This is one of the highlights of my day:) I've always been an average student in class, especially in my engineering subjects (first year I used to be way at the bottom and it's really good I've made some progress). So yeah, having my classmates who are in the Dean's List wanting to see my paper is really an ego-booster for me. Plus, having my lecturer ask for my permission to send out my report in class is really something. Yay:)

9 months and counting!!!

Happy 9th monthsary MK!!!:)

Well this is my first successful attempt at using iMovie. Sorry I couldn't compress it any better than this, it keeps on dying out on me when I try to go for the one with no loss of quality.

I'll be better next time! :)

Please help us in our survey

Hello friends, online buddies, ex-classmates, acquaintances, and anybody with working experience be it part-time or full-time...

PLEASE HELP ME AND MY GROUPMATES in our project by participating in this short survey. We need about 50 respondents, so if you could just spare some time off to answer some questions (completely anonymous), we would really really appreciate it!!! :) :) :)

Here is the survey link.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=nPqZrm_2bw14N7awNR31QUAQ_3d_3d

Yaaaaaay thank you!!! God bless!!!

Long Overdue Pinas Trip Blog Post

I've already posted these pictures in my Pinas Trip Multiply album, and I am blogging using Multiply, but since it has this brilliant means to cross-post to my Blogger blog, then I'm gonna put up these pictures here again. ;)

You know you are in the Philippines when you see a jeepney! Purple one somemore.

And when you see a baby blue and baby pink-colored overpass!

And of course anti-Gloria activists and their black balloons!

My Mommy (maternal grandmother) and Mama.

Tito Larry

The very skilled coconut vendor.

Cooking my mostest favoritest Filipino dish, adobo.

They were the ones cooking, and me...erm, busy documenting the events.

Silhouette of Taal Volcano. It was foggy when we came.

Ahhh inihaw na baboy, java rice, and sumkinda dried fish with toyo, suka, onions..the works. Heaven.

Halo-halo! Mix-mix!

I had to bring Pooh bear along in lieu of the one who gave it to me.

My parents and their sexy backs. Almost 23 years of marriage and still holding hands:)

Mama and Papa

The salesman-cum-saleslady, and another salesman at Kultura shop.

Dimple, Mama, and Papa

Papa's favorite picture.

Papa: happy

TV: drama

Papa: less happy

TV: more drama

Papa: Erm....

TV: even more drama

Papa: CANNOT TAHAN ANYMORE SIAAA!!!

Mama: cut and paste in photoshop issit??

Me: mama take my picture when I'm jumping okay

I said when I am in the air!!!

Bacolod chicken inato with sisig rice!!!!! droooool

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I really, really do.

:)

I will hold your hand until we have the same hair color.

And even after that.

I promise.

:)

Determination

"When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his (or her) dream" - Paulo Coelho

Yes I am witnessing the little events that would eventually turn the tide and make my dreams into a reality. If you don't know yet, I am really, really determined to go back to the United States of America and start a new chapter of my life there (with John) after I finish my studies in Singapore. In my dreams, it would be right away, but there are things in life that are out of one's control.

The first time when we were apart after I finished my Grand Canyon stint and left the US, I suffered withdrawal symptoms too and made it my goal to go back. That was when I sought for ways and finally landed myself an internship in Florida for this July. I was really grateful for that chance but until now I don't have a visa yet. I was supposed to get one when I went back to the Philippines last February, but I didn't (long story). The internship is unpaid as well, and I don't know how I am going to survive for five months if I go. So most probably I won't, although until now I haven't informed the company yet.

And then after 5 months of not seeing each other, John came and visited me in Singapore!!! I am really super grateful to God for that chance. We both needed that. Now we are really very sure of each other. He also got to meet all of the people who mattered to me in Singapore. I'd be proud to introduce him to my parents too, but they are in the Philippines. He stayed for almost three months. My three happiest months in this small island country.

Then of course he had to go back to the US to do his own stuff, while I'm still here surviving every day of the next 9 weeks until I finish my studies. So I wept everyday for one whole week, but my period of self-pity party is over. I admit I was paralyzed by pain during that time and couldn't really function. But now is the time to stand up, live my life again as I know it, and take action.

Actually I already did. I emailed, like, my whole clan in the US (my maternal grandmother has 11 siblings if I'm not mistaken and all their families are there). I got their email addresses from the mailing list in one of the forwarded emails by one of my grand-aunts. See, even seemingly useless email fowards have their use now. I told them I am graduating soon and I would like to start my life in the States after I graduate, so maybe they could in any way assist me in looking for a job or suggest ways on how I could live there. Three people replied so far and they are all very encouraging. One of my grand-aunts even forwarded my resume, which she took time to modify and improve, to her colleagues. My uncle who's starting his career in law is also researching my situation. My other grand-aunt encouraged me about the good prospects in Engineering over there. Anyhoo, I am just so grateful that there are people who are willing to help along the way.

But what is most heartening is the support of my parents. I cannot express how deeply touched I am for their love and concern, and for wanting to see me happy. My mom even suggested that they could cancel their trip to Singapore so that they could give me the money instead to send me to the US after graduation. While I was so moved that she could go to great lengths to make me happy, at the same time I felt selfish too if I agree to that because I know they've been wanting to go here and they're just waiting for me to graduate. So...I don't know.

I am just really happy right now for the outpouring of support, and I am more hopeful now more than ever. I am also more motivated to really finish my studies, and it makes the burden lighter.

Thank you God for everything. I know everything will be alright. I know you will make a way.

When faced with a mountain, I will not quit! I will keep striving until I climb over, find a pass through, tunnel underneath or simply stay and turn the mountain into a gold mine, with God's help. - Robert Half

So Happy Together

Hey Wyldfire thank you so much for comforting me a while ago. I really appreciate it. Especially Missy for crying with me and getting locked out at the stairs. And Rovin and Maybeline for singing the Spiderman song. And Pastor Martin for including John in the prayers. And Tita LA for telling me it will be alright. And prenship Chin for the hug. And AJ and Nina for the tissue. And Ivy and Robinson for the great company at dinner. Yeah thanks so much guys you are the best.

So now I will just hold on to what Pastor Martin said, "God makes all things perfect in His time".

This cheered me up a lot too.



Yay this is the first time I spoke to him since he left and I didn't cry. It will be more manageable now. Thank you God for enabling me to be strong. Even when all final semester-related stress and anxiety has already been numbed by this greater pain I am currently experiencing. But I know everything will be worth it. Every drop of tear and ounce of pain that I have to endure will be worth it, knowing that someday God will bring us back together again for good. You are worth the wait because you are the one.

This is one of those IMISSMK posts again

My eyes would just well up whenever we talk on the phone. It's soooo not the same as when I talk to him in person. I miss him so much I can't describe it. I know I've been rambling about it a lot...but it's so difficult to just bottle up my emotions and pretend everything is fine when really it's not. :( I thought I would be okay already :( Really I am trying to :( God please help me :(

I really would just want to fly to the States right now. Anybody please give me a visa and a plane ticket :( AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I'm sorry for being a crybaby:( But I will be stronger. And I have to also, because I still have many things to do in order to graduate. Really, I'd work hard and do whatever it takes so that I can be with him soon.

This is like hellll :( :( :(

I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Midterms and FYP and whateverelse here I come.

Interview plus Shooting Incident at Outram Park

Well since Dustin is so interested at how the interview turned out, in a nutshell both the interviewer and I had a mutual agreement that there is a mismatch between the opportunities I'm looking for and the job they're offering.

When the lady from the HR called me up inviting me for an interview, she told me to come at 2pm. However when I got there, I had a glimpse at the sheet of paper at the receptionist counter that I was scheduled for an interview at 2:30pm. So in essence, I arrived like, recommended 15 minutes buffer + 30 minutes more due to miscommunication, earlier than the appointed time. Meanwhile they had me fill up an official application form too. I sat at the reception area for the remaining time and browsed through their corporate newsletter. The lady who received me apologized because my interviewer was still in a meeting so I have to wait for a bit more. But it's okay. I am glad and proud of myself for being calm, collected, and confident, and not the nervous wreck that I thought I would be.

Finally the lady led me one floor up to the interview room, and she told me I would be interviewed by the vice-president of their civil and transportation engineering department. I told her that I am applying for a position in the facilities management subsidiary (I wrote it in my application form and told them on the phone I am seeking for a non-technical position) and asked if that's okay (that the person interviewing me is from another department). She said just proceed with the interview and just indicate my interest.

My interviewer was still not there when I entered the room. He arrived about 2 minutes later, then of course I had to stand up, shake his hand and be nice and all like what those interview books told me how to behave. He wasn't at all intimidating. I guess what I was wearing helped me a lot in the confidence department because I really took the effort to dress the part (business pants, pin-stripped shirt with a black blazer over it, HEELS - complete with a black leather-like portfolio which contained all my important interview arsenal).

We spoke for only, what, 5 minutes???? Hahaha. Maybe 10.

We even didn't reach the part where he would ask "Tell me about yourself", or "Why do you want to work for this company?", or "What is your greatest strength" and stuff like that.

I was looking for a management trainee position in facilities management, but they were offering hardcore design work at the civil engineering department. He said all fresh graduate recruits would have to go through that first, even the ones in facilities management. When he mentioned designing buildings, bridges, deciding what type of concrete to use and how much reinforcement to put, it made me very certain that I would not take this job even if hired on the spot. I am about to close the hardcore engineering chapter of my life (and I'm really happy to), and I wouldn't want to look back anymore. 4 years of studying it is enough. It's just not for me. (Of course these things are all just kept inside my head and related my message in a more appropriate manner).

So anyway, we discussed in a very relaxed atmosphere. Smiling and having a positive disposition helped a lot.

I did not get the job that I did not want in the first place, but I gained an interview experience to speak of. My interview preparations were not wasted because I can always use the things I've learned for the next one. I am not upset, I do not feel I've lost, and in fact I'm happy I went through it despite my initial fears.

***

Anyhoo, on the way back home, I had to pass by Outram Park interchange. As I was getting out of the North-East line train, I saw many police officers and media personnel with their cameras flashing and they were speaking to their walkie-talkies. An area was also cordoned off, and the MRT staff were ushering people towards the exit and not be kaypoh (busybodies).
I learned that somebody got shot and died, and I could still see the body there sprawled on the floor covered in white tarpaulin I guess.

I read from ChannelNewsAsia website that the man got shot by the police at close range at the MRT station after he fought them. He stabbed and killed somebody else earlier in the afternoon. Haizzzz.

As always I'm really impressed by how Singapore manages incidents like this so as not to alarm the public. Always very efficient and organized.

Oh well but Mas Selamat is still at large.

***

I'm really thankful that all my loved ones are okay as far as I know. Thank you Lord.

Voice

Yay..finally the call got through and his plane has already landed safely in New York. After what seemed like 48 million years after he left and without hearing from him while in transit in Japan (no reception he said), I am relieved and glad to know he's okay and he's waiting for his luggage. Soon he'll be seeing his parents and they'll be driving back to Lebanon, Pennsylvania where they reside.

So. My life is getting back to 'normal'. I just needed to know that he's safe. I was really tempted to cancel my job interview with *** tomorrow because man, my eyebags look horrible! How to sell myself to the company sia?!

Actually this morning I was supposed to have a mock interview with a career counselor from the university career center, but I emailed her to cancel it. I reasoned I intend to cancel the real interview with *** too because:
1.) I wasn't really interested with a civil engineering position;
2.) I had too much school stuff to do and it would eat my time preparing for the interview because I wouldn't wanna go there not doing my homework.

Oh well, the lady counselor called me on my handphone and encouraged me to still go for the interview. She pointed out that even if I'm really not that interested, it would be an experience I could learn from; and I could afford to not prepare so much if I lack time in doing so, and would not be very bitter if results turned out unfavorably. In short, I could gain experience and it wouldn't be much of a blow if I sucked the first time.

But all day today I was just anxious about John being safe and sound back there in the land far, far away; and decided I wouldn't go for the interview if I still didn't hear from him before the appointed time tomorrow. I just wouldn't be able to concentrate and waste everybody's time. But yay, I'm glad I got to hear his voice again and know he's fine. So, now I'd just have to live with this long distance love affair for a while.

I know God will bring us back in each other's arms again. Soon.

PS Company name hidden for privacy reasons. Well I just don't want them to google their own company and find this blog.

Me Singapore, MK USA

My eyes are swollen, my nose is clogged, my mouth is dry, my throat is coarse, my head is throbbing, my heart is aching.

I am suffering from John withdrawal syndrome. I am a mess. After I got back from the lab, there is nobody waiting for me anymore. There is no familiar blob of messy blond hair I can see from a distance in that brown bench in engin anymore, which belongs to someone who happens to be the love of my life. This distance is crippling. His absence is making me insane.

I thought I would just, you know, cry at the airport and that's it. But it still hurts. It hurts so bad. It's so painful to be physically away from him because our souls are connected.

I know he is the one. I have finally come to terms with all my past hurts and disappointments because somehow all those decisions and experiences - unpleasant ones included - lead me to the day I was wrapped in his arms, and knowing without a doubt that this guy is the one I am destined to spend the rest of my life with.

It wasn't easy, and we even faced opposition at first, but I believe we've already proven to those well-meaning people that we truly care for each other. Now another challenge arises, but I know we'll make it through. I know that someday I will be marching down the aisle, with him eagerly waiting for me at the other end, and we are going to start our new life together and we would never have to part again like this.

For now I would need to stay afloat as the final waves of my university life try to engulf me. I am counting ten more weeks, including this one, with deadlines for each.

Week 1 (March 2-8): *** job interview (my first ever real job interview)

Week 2 (March 9-15): Christianity in World History midterm test
Human Relations in the New Economy reflection paper due

Week 3 (March 16-22): Biological Activated Systems midterm test

Week 4 (March 23-29): Human Relations in the New Economy Group Report due
Christianity in World History essay due

Week 5 (March 30-April 5): much needed preparation time for next week

Week 6 (April 6-12): Human Relations in the New Economy Group Project due
Management and Organization group project and reflection paper due
Final Year Project thesis submission

Week 7 (April 13-19): Biological Activated Systems term paper due and presentation

Week 8 (April 20-26): Human Relations in the New Economy final exam

Week 9 (April 27-May 3): Christianity in World History final exam

Week 10 (May 4-10): Management and Organization final exam
Biological Activated Systems final exam
Final Year Project oral presentation

Well this is what I know for now, and I hope there's not much to be added anymore because all these things need a lot of preparation, especially my final year project.

*actually today I started crying after the research fellow assigned to supervise me at the lab told me I would still have to continue my lab work until the end of this month. 6 months of seemingly never-ending lab work with my supposedly Christmas holidays thrown in! It is labor-intensive work too and physically tiring. Gosh. I was hoping to finish it THIS WEEK because how am I supposed to study for my midterm tests if I'm already worn out from the lab at the end of the day???

God please help me. I am too weak to do all these things if I just rely on my own strength. But I know I can do all things through Christ. I know these difficulties will never go to waste and there is a reason why I have to go through this. And please always take care of John too. I love him so much.

***

Oh by the way, I am so heartened to have such wonderful friends. Really guys, thank you for making John feel welcome, for extending your warmth and for being nice. Thank you for initiating get-togethers. Thank you for being so thoughtful. I feel richly blessed and privileged to have friends like you :)

I miss you so much

...it hurts.

dear God please let me be stronger than this. I cannot breathe and I am drowning in my own tears