Makita Kang Muli

I was a mess yesterday and last night. I don't even want to think about it anymore. I am just glad that God always provides me with a life line when I most need it. Thank you Mama, Papa, and Dimple. And of course MK. Thank you for giving me something to look forward to. Really. =)

I fell in love with this song when I first heard it a few years back. But it wasn't very relevant to me then. Well, now it is. haha=p Hmm but the whole song is in Tagalog, and the lyrics are very beautiful that way. But there's an English translation below. =)



***
Makita Kang Muli (Panday Theme)
Music and Lyrics by: Jimmy Antiporda
Sung by: Sugar Free

Refrain: 1
Bawat sandali ng / aking buhay
Pagmamahal mo / ang aking taglay
San man mapadpad ng hanging
Hindi / magbabago aking pagtingin

Bridge:
Pangako natin /sa Maykapal
Na tayo lamang sa habang buhay /
Maghintay..

Chorus:
Ipaglalaban ko ang ating pagibig
Maghintay ka lamang ako'y darating
Pagkat sa isang taong mahal mo
Ng buong puso
Lahat ay gagawin
Makita kang muli, Makita kang muli,
Makita kang muli..

Refrain: 2
Puso'y nagdurusa, nangungulila
Iniisip ka pag nagiisa
Inaalala mga sandali
Nang tayo ay magkapiling
Ikaw ang gabay sa akin tuwina
Ang aking ilaw sa gabing mapanglaw
Tanging ikaw..

Chorus:
Ipaglalaban ko ang ating pagibig
Maghintay ka lamang ako'y darating
Pagkat sa isang taong mahal mo
Ng buong puso
Lahat ay gagawin
Makita kang muli, Makita kang muli,
Makita kang muli..

***

Here's the English translation of the lyrics to the "Ang Panday" (The Blacksmith) theme song:

TO SEE YOU AGAIN (THIS HEART'S CRUSADE)
Music and Lyrics by: Jimmy Antiporda.
Sung by: Sugar Free

(Refrain 1)
Each moment of my life
I hold on to your devotion
Wherever the wind takes me
My passion never wanes

(Bridge)
We vowed to God
To be as one all our lives
To wait

(Chorus)
This love is my crusade
Wait and I'll make it home
Because to the one you pledged
Your whole heart to
You'd do anything
I'd do anything

Just to see you again
Just to see you again
Just to see you again

(Refrain 2)
This afflicted heart longs for
And thinks of you in solitude
It remembers every moment
We're together
You're my every moment's guiding light
In all my lonesome nights
Only you

(Chorus)
This love is my crusade
Wait and I'll make it home
Because to the one you pledged
Your whole heart to
You'd do anything
I'd do anything

Just to see you again
Just to see you again
Just to see you again

***

PS

Yoz MK did the band's lead vocalist steal your red checkered shirt???

sos

dear God please help me, i just want to disappear right now

Ha ha.

I THINK THIS IS A BIG JOKE.

MY THUMB DRIVE IS GONE.

SO FUNNY RIGHT?????

and i have a deadline later. no, i have 15 million deadlines later.

the best thing anybody's ever told me

PS

I deleted the previous post because the person was very nice to me yesterday and I kindaf felt guilty. Hah.

To Robinson (and Wyldfire)

GET WELL SOON ROBS!

Miss na namin kakulitan mo.

It seems like it's been 5 million years since I last hung out with my Wyldfire family. After church (and if I even get there in the first place), I'd always have some project to rush off to. It's sad, and I don't know how it came to this point. I was looking at our Multiply page, and it brought warmth to my heart. I love you guys, though I don't say it often and I'm always missing-in-action these days.

Facebook and happy me

Just came from class. Mondays and Tuesdays I have night classes. There are many things I dreaded for today (can I please whine one more time that I HATE TRANSPORTATION PLANNING I HATE TRANSPORTATION PLANNING I HATE TRANSPORTATION PLANNING..ooops that's three times).

Anyway, I am not supposed to blog, but I cannot contain the happiness I felt when I checked my Facebook and saw John's mom's message (yeah she has an account, so cool). It was heartwarming and I am really so so very happy right now. John's sister Phoebe messaged me twice too. =)

It means a lot to me when my boyfriend's family know of my existence, and even more so when they are actually warm and welcoming towards me. I'm really looking forward to meeting them someday.

Like, next year! Haha!

MK!!! You make me feel very special. Sometimes I still can't believe that despite the oceans and mountains and miles and billions of people between us, our paths still crossed and our lives are never the same. Maybe we were made for each other. :)

Tired.

I am tired to be in an environment where being stressed is the norm, where appearing relaxed and 'happy' is misconstrued as being a slacker, where people boast among themselves who is more busy, where people scoff at you for doing lesser modules than them, where drowning in work is a badge of honor and having 'free time' means you are not doing enough, where maligning another person's work to elevate oneself is not uncommon, where cutthroat competition is ubiquitous, where not being able to breathe should be the case, and where my efforts are NEVER enough.

But then again...

If I really think about it, there are still a lot of people who would rather trade places with me regardless of my whining. Like the people at the hospital, where I came from just now. I think they would rather be stressed in school than lying in a hospital bed with alien tubes connected to their bodies, suffering from diminished health and being in physical pain.

...He is strong enough to shake all earth and heaven
Yet meek enough to take me as I am.
He says come unto to me
All who are weary
And I will give you rest...

I am trying to look at the glass as half-full, not half-empty.

PS

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IVY!

Happy 4th.=)

Our very first picture together, starring my chucks and your big brown hiking shoes.

It was just
Last summer when I met you.
Our first encounter is something I find
Very amusing,
Especially because
You first saw me when I was
Obviously tired from a long day's work, and totally
Unglamorous.
Just when I thought it was unfortunate that a very cute guy would see me like that, it was
Out of this world that you even asked what I'll be doing after work. My
Heart leaped when I saw you the
Next day at the Deli when I was putting salads inside the fridge, and
Everyday after that. You were
Very, very sweet
Extremely persistent (haha), and
Really caring, loving, understanding, and all that. The way you love me is the
Epitome of how I've always wanted to be loved, and I hope
That's how you feel about me
Too. I hope what we have right now would be
Forever.
In my every waking moment, thoughts of you abound; and
Sweet dreams of you fill my nights.
How I wish I could be with you right now, and
Every single day...but for now, memories of you are worth
Reminiscing.

*_*

If I can't go home this Christmas, I want to be there on my birthday.

My Final Year Project interim presentation will be on January, my birthday month. *rolls eyes* I hope it will be before my birthday.

Please, please.

Acceptance Form

Besides getting a phone call from John, this sheet is another highlight of my day:



Actually, the internship coordinator emailed me last Friday, but I emailed her back the acceptance form only today. As if I had to think about it more haha. But yeah, my mind's already made up. I want to go to US right after graduation and I'm trying my best to make it happen.

The projects are on-going year-round so they can give us the flexibility of when we want to start. I indicated my start date as 20th of July 2008, which is just a few days after my graduation. The maximum period of the internship is 6 months, and when I first applied I told them I'll be doing it until January 2009. But then...I want my internship to be over during the Christmas period so that hopefully I can go someplace else where there's snow, so I could experience a white Christmas for the very first time haha. Coz Florida got no snow mah..

Aaah so nice to think about it. =) I hope I could have the visa and stuff. Last time the consul at the US embassy was so stern, but I guess they're meant to be like that.

This is a very exciting time of my life.

Because of you. =)

PS
WHO IS TIRAMISU???

*-*

Hah. I was organidling because of the dreaded transportation planning project, but I've finally come to grips with myself that I must just take the plunge and do whatever I can because I promised my group mates I would deliver something before I sleep tonight. So, I just sent them 4 gigantic files that would hopefully help us proceed to the next stage of the project.

Thank you Jesus for being a very present help in times of need.=)

So, FYP stuff still before bed.

TPsux.

I can't wait for my transportation planning project to be over. But the lecturers haven't even set a deadline for it yet.

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

I need patience.

Right now.

Reunion

Okaaaay. I have no idea with regards to the algorithm the web developers or whoever is responsible for putting up the Verse of the Day thingies, like how random the whole process is or what. There may be a lot of reasons - ranging from pure coincidence, or it's God's way of getting the message across that everything will be alright as long as I put my trust in Him - why the verses are relevant to my recent blog posts of what's next after school.

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I choose to believe the latter.

It's really encouraging. Thank you Lord.

***

Just met up with Daphne Duck and the Grand Canyon people for dinner. It was really nice seeing them all again. We ate at Changing Appetites in Suntec and I treated myself this:


This picture would have been nicer if Duck was the who took it haha.


I'm very tired already. But I still have to work for our transportation planning project. It's all gooooooood.

Lil prayer on a Saturday morning

Proverbs 19-20-21

Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise. Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

This is the verse of the day when I looked at the little box with daily Bible verses on the left hand side of my blog.

Lord, I hope my plans are also according to your will. You know the desires of my heart, but you also know what's best for me. I sincerely hope they are the same thing. I do not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future. Let your will be done.

Bits and Pieces of Today

Today, I discovered that splashing ferrous aluminum sulfate in your eyes isn't painful, and touching concentrated sulfuric acid with your left index finger and with gloves on would make it look like the finger's going to wither away - but no worries, it won't. In addition, peeling off a bit of your skin due to errant jerking of the stupid door lock would only be painful for about a millisecond, then it would just mind its own business bleeding a bit, which you won't even notice because it won't register pain, unless you see with your acid-splashed eyes the red coming out of the tiny wound.

So, those are the little 'accidents' of my 10-hour session at the lab today. Moving on...

Yo dude-who-thinks-he's-so-cool, the next time you call me a slacker, I am going to shove to your face my weekly schedule so you'll know how ignorant and obnoxious you are.

On a happier note, I received this email which got me all excited I'm about to do cartwheels.



If all goes well, right after my graduation on July next year, I'll be doing a traineeship in the field of environmental engineering (something very similar to my final year project right now). And the best part is, I WOULD BE IN FLORIDA!!! In the USA again!!! Whoooopeeeeee!!! =) MK!!! haha=)

God I hope this goes well, with the visa and all. This time, I am going to do the paperwork on my own, I guess, because I searched for and contacted this US-based company myself. Last time I went, the agency did everything for the Work and Travel program and I'm impressed by how systematic they were in handling us. It was all a breeze for my part. This time, I would appreciate any help I could get. Hehe=)

Anyhoo. I am going to see Daphne and my Work n Travel newfound friends tomorrow! FINALLY!!!

P&G versus Citibank Career Talk, and then some.

I've only been to two career talks held on campus: the first one was by Citibank, and the next by P&G, which I wouldn't dare to miss. Actually the first one was supposed to be by DBS bank, but they turned me away because I wasn't dressed appropriately. That gave me an excuse to go to the mall on a weekday and splurge on appropriate clothes for such events.

The one by Citibank has turned me off and made me think I am unsuitable to be in the corporate world. It's like everything is stiff, you always have to put your best foot forward, and you'd always have to plaster a plastic smile on your face whenever you network with other people, which is an integral part of your career. At least that's what was impressed on my mind after attending their talk. I appreciate the effort of their bigwigs to come down and talk to us students who are eager to learn what's out there beyond the four corners of our school, but then...they were super boring, can. We are students, not your stockholders or CEO's of your client companies.They spoke about how great their company is and gave us charts after charts, figures after figures, dollar signs after dollar signs of their net revenues and anything else that would serve as evidence of their 'greatness'. At first I was, WOW...then eventually my reaction turned to ZZZ.

I went away feeling that this whole banking career thing is so not for me, thankyouverymuch. And it's just ironic because Citibank was just recently ranked as employer of choice by graduates in Singapore. Well, to each his own.

But for P&G, it's different. Their people came in wearing nice corporate clothes and all, but they were all very casual in the way they gave their presentation- and they were very engaging. I found myself on the edge of my seat, hanging on to every word of whoever's speaking, yearning to learn more about this great company. They all made it seem like it's such a nice, fun company to work for, without compromising the fact that they are all smart people who could deliver. They are not intimidating, and they do not alienate newbies.

I've been to the P&G Roundtable discussion last year, and I've had similar reviews even back then. Every one of those who spoke were full of energy (as opposed to the Citibank representatives who seemed bored even of themselves), and everything they said made sense.

Oh by the way, one of P&G's representatives tonight was a Filipino and I'm kind of proud of him because when he spoke, everyone in the lecture theatre gave him his/her utmost attention. He exuded this certain charm, that even if he's already a bigwig in the company, he doesn't make a fuss out of it and he spoke to us like we're his buddies. Of course, I approached him after their presentation and I introduced myself, and I even asked him if he knew my aunt who also works for P&G. Then he said 'Dina? I HIRED HER'. Hah! Jackpot!!!It was so nice of him to give me his email address and told me to email him if I have any questions, and he'd help me clarify my doubts

Maybe I can't really directly compare a bank with a company that deals with fast-moving consumer products such as P&G because each deals with different things. And maybe it's unfair to judge a company based on their campus recruitment talk representatives. But in the viewpoint of a penultimate year student looking for my options of what's next after school, the fun/dynamic/casual workplace factor is a big part of my decision-making process, because I am still young and young people usually gravitate towards these things. When almost all the speakers are boring, it makes me think 'So these are the people I'm gonna work with at the office...heh no thanks.' And it makes you wonder why it seems that the dementors from Azkaban in the Harry Potter series came and sucked the life and happiness away from these fellows.

Back to P&G. It has been my dream company even in highschool. I dug up archives (Daydreaming, P&G part deux) from my old blog to remind me why, as well as this post of why I thought I'm not cut-out to be a civil engineer .

Hmm, but recently I have come to appreciate what I've been doing for my FYP (related to environmental engineering-I'll blog about it some other time), and I was thinking maybe I finally found my niche in this world. BUT after attending the P&G talk, all those feelings of excitement and whatnot from the mere utterance of the name P&G came rushing back to me.

God, where do I go from here???

The Notebook

I love the novel from which this movie was based, and the movie certainly didn't disappoint.
I don't know of anyone who watched this movie and didn't like it.

I already found my Noah.

MK

Mahal Ko

Mahal Kita

Miss Kita

...SOBRA....

Pogi, you understand right? Hehe=)

baa baa but no black sheep

One very fascinating thing about the Filipino language is that two people can actually have a sensible conversation with a mere repetition of the syllable 'ba'.

In an elevator:

Pinoy 1: Bababa ba?
Pinoy 2: Bababa.

This whole scenario is literally translated as:

Filipino 1: Going down, is it?
Filipino 2: Going down.

Bababa. Hahaha!

Ooops he did it again!

CONGRATULATIONS MANNY!!!

There's a smorgasbord of articles about the recently concluded Pacquaio vs Barrera match, but this one is my favorite:

Pacquiao boxing victory briefly unites Philippine combatants

It's amazing how this one man can unite a whole nation and stop a war even for just a few hours.

Other articles can be found here and here.

Gratitude

Dear God,

Today I was just reminiscing those moments throughout the course of my life that made feel grateful because I have you. I remember I was a worrywart even at a very young age because of the crime news I'd see on prime time TV. Every night before I go to bed I'd do the rounds of checking whether all our house doors are securely locked, as well as the windows. But even that is not enough to vanquish horrible thoughts of masked men breaking in and harming us, just like in the news about this family earlier on TV. But I'd be reminded of what the chapel time teacher told us, that I could always call on you whenever I'm scared. So I'd imagine you being in our house, specifically in the bedroom I share with my siblings, as well as in my parents room (the teacher said you could do that because you are what she called 'omnipresent') and guarding us, together with an army of angels. Then I'd feel safe and fall asleep. The next morning in school, the teacher who would lead the flag ceremony would pray and say "Thank you Lord for the good night's rest", and I would mean it with all my heart.

That time when I was 9, we were traveling from my hometown to Bukidnon to attend my tito's wedding, thank you for that Don Moen cassette tape which I think is the only thing we could listen to at that time, because Papa kept on playing it over and over and over and over and over again for 10 hours straight. That is where I learned what is now my all-time favorite song "God will make a way", which is also your promise I hold on to whenever I feel I'm at my rope's end.

When I was in my first year of high school and I was miserable because my family was undergoing financial difficulties, thank you for your providence and for helping us get through it.

Those times when I felt rejected, unappreciated, or alone, thank you for making your presence felt when I called on you. Especially that time at Synovate office and I was just crying my heart out at the corner of one of the toilet cubicles, and I whispered "God are you here? Please hug me." Thank you because I felt that you did, and it made me feel a lot better.

Thank you for the unanswered prayers that turned out to be doors for better things, or hardships that turned out to be blessings in disguise.

Thank you for being my father, my brother, my best friend, my buddy, my fortress, my savior, my redeemer, my God all rolled into one.

Thank you for never giving up on me even if I'm not always faithful and I've failed you trigazillion times already.

Thank you for the people who love me and for the people I love.

And most of all thank you for your love, for your grace that saves, for the peace that surpasses all understanding because of your presence, and for the joy of knowing you.

Ho hum...

my phone's pretty useless right now

Happy Birthday Mama:)

No English Please

Wendell is trying hard not to laugh when Ogie (the guy who's having difficulty speaking in English) does his spiel.

Hahahahahaha. Lol. I miss Bubble Gang.

ok alr sia

To the best of my knowledge, it's the first time someone wrote about me AND referred to me as John's girlfriend. It's surprising because Daphne Duck is closer to me than she is to John, so she could just plainly write my ex-roomie or Corona the Deli Bimbo Queen. But she first and foremost wrote John's girlfriend.

*feels nice, eh. hmmm =)=)=) *

*imagine tiny little red hearts with white fluffy wings flying around my smiling face* haha.

I wanted to delete my previous post coz it's um, negative...and I'm feeling much better now after some rethinking. But then I'd be deleting the precious comments too. CANNOT!!! And yeah I am a normal human being who experiences ups and downs in life, so yeah. I was having a bad day and I don't need to hide it.

It's funny (ok not really, but it's my expression whaaat), coz when I woke up this morning, one of today's Bible readings was on Philippians chapter 4. There were already highlights in some of the verses (PINK highlight somemore), which I probably did when I first read them and they struck a chord in my heart.

4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Hah. Probably God's way of telling me "Aiyoh kid, dun worry so much lah. I'm here, see?!" Yeah He can speak Singlish too what. I couldn't help but smile and breathe a word of thanks.

Hmm I want to write more but I need to wake up early to collect wastewater at NeWater plant in Bedok to feed my beloved bacteria with.

JOHNMYMKMELOVESYOUSOOOOMUCH.

bouts of self-bashing

This is going to be a rant.

This is just one of those days that I feel like I'm such a loser. I am graduating really soon and I feel that I have failed myself through the course of my stay here in NUS. Even until now I still don't know what I really want to do in life. I envy those who have this vision of themselves of what they're going to be 5 years from now. I feel bad for myself because of my stupid CAP that is still not worth anything even if I almost died trying to improve it after its catastrophic nosedive to the miry depths when I was in Year 1. Recruitment talks are already on-going, and when I eagerly research on companies and their eligibilty criteria for a possible career placement, it always breaks my heart when they state a specific honors class requirement that I know would be impossible for me to achieve already at this point of my student life.

I was walking along the BizAd Career Services building and I saw posters after posters of their stellar students. Even my co-scholar Reginald Lee is one of their poster boys. Hah. I hate it when I pit myself against people of their calibre because it makes me feel like the lowest kind of human being there is. Or even lower than that. I feel like shit.

I have this idiosyncracy of crumpling a piece of paper when I've started to write and work on it but feel like it's not neat enough, or my handwriting's not pretty enough, or any way not up to the phantom standards I've come up with. If only my uni life was a piece of paper I could crumple and start fresh with a new sheet, free of any wrinkle or ugly ghost pencil marks.

Admittedly, I have high expecations of myself. I've already forgiven myself for that first time I've fallen short of my own expectations, from being one of the cream-of-the-crop or whatever *bleep* they call us in highschool, to being the worst in class, and now mediocre at best. But the past still haunts me every now and then.

Mediocre, I hate that word.

God, please help me see my real value. Please remind me not to base my worth on my abilities (or lack of). Please remind me that I am worth something, even worth dying on the cross for.

***

This too shall pass. I just needed to get this off my chest.

bug off

i hate this day.