Homesick

I miss my family.

Papa looking very repectable haha.



Mama. Sexy!


The couple and the third party: Dimple and I bugging our ex-future-boyfriend Filipino celebrity Marc Nelson for the umpteeenth time.


My self-proclaimed macho brother at my uncle's beach.


Paolo, YC, and the love of her life Spongebob Squarepants.

I love you mama, papa, Dimple, Paolo, and YC. Can't believe I haven't seen you guys for the looooooongest time.

***

I have to catch up on schoolwork because the recess week has...lived up to its name.

The Cross

For everyone who's carrying his/her cross (that heavy school/work load and avalanche of deadlines, that obnoxious person you have to deal with everyday, being broke, or whatever it may be) , it's a comfort to know that the cross you're carrying actually has a purpose.

This was forwarded by my aunt in an email btw. =)

Whatever your cross,

whatever your pain,

there will always be sunshine,

after the rain ....

Perhaps you may stumble,

perhaps even fall,

But God's always ready,

To answer your call ...

He knows every heartache,

sees every tear,

A word from His lips,

can calm every fear ...

Your sorrows may linger,

throughout the night,

But suddenly vanish,

in dawn's early light ...

The Savior is waiting,

somewhere above,

To give you His grace,

and send you His love ..

Whatever your cross,

whatever your pain,

"God always sends rainbows .....
after the rain ... "

Lunch time conversation

Ok I still have like 8 minutes before my official SELF duty starts. And there's nobody around that I must entertain.

I was having lunch by my lonesome in Engin canteen, when I can't help but overhear these two respectable-looking NUS staff super absorbed in their conversation, what with one person's fist slamming down the table and whatnot. The first man was Northern Indian/Arab-looking, and the other one was Caucasian with a European accent.

I can only hear snippets of their conversation: God, Bible, ten commandments, thou shall not kill, Is God all-knowing?, 4000 BC, 2000 BC, western world, George W Bush, ...go and killing other people..., bible, thou shall not kill (again, I've heard this phrase the most number of times the whole time I was straining my ears to listen). All of these came from the Arab-looking guy with the Indian accent by the way. I cannot make out any of what the Caucasian guy was saying because he spoke too softly for me to comprehend anything.

Their plates were already empty when I sat at the table next to their's, but it seems like they're not going anytime soon even when I was leaving.

Okies, I have some real job to do at SELF now. Cheerios.

Doctor

Yesterday I was looking at myself in the mirror and thinking how fugly the scar on my right knee is. How to wear shorts like that meh? Haha. Then today, I was browsing through my photos in my computer, and I felt warm all over while reminiscing the story behind my wounded knee.

We were hiking the canyon from the North Rim to the South Rim (please see Daphne Duck's blog for details haha), and all of us were carrying super heavy backpacks with all the essentials for our survival in our journey to the unknown. At some point I just got super tired, missed my balance and fell knee-first unto the dusty ground. When we reached the campsite, MK took out his first aid kit and nursed my wounds. I didn't even ask for it, he just did it spontaneously. Heeeeee=) I was so touched, and I was compelled to reach for my camera and take photos, coz I don't want ever want to forget these moments when I felt truly cared for.
















Thank you. =) *muacks*

Hah. If my doctor is as charming and good-looking as this everytime, I'd go and bruise my knee over and over again.

Kidding!

Love you John.=)

Happy MK and Sandslob Day

Today is a very special day. :)

When I was about to leave SELF this morning, I got a phone call from someone inquiring whether I'm in PGP because he's delivering some flowers for me. His statement really caught me offguard, and impulsively I exclaimed "REALLY?". Then he said yes, it seems like it's from overseas. Then I knew it. Who else in this whole wide world would send me flowers from overseas but John? I was uber thrilled so I literally ran towards the bus stop to catch the first A1 bus that would bring me back to PGP. Yes, the sand sitting pretty at the lab can wait!!!

I got there first before the flowers did. But when I saw this man coming towards PGP office looking like he's lost and carrying a bouquet of beautiful pink and purple roses, I instantly knew they were for me. =) The man also highlighted that there's even a card with it. I carried my flowers dreamily towards my room, with a silly smile plastered from ear to ear.

This is the first time ever that someone had flowers delivered to me. The flowers are so pretty and they even match my bed!


This is the card that came with it. Hmm, so every 20th of the month is MK and Sandslob Day! =)

The first time MK gave me flowers was after he went hiking around the canyon. He personally handpicked these lovelies, and he said some of them were very difficult to get because he had to climb some rocks just to get them. SO SWEET RIGHT...*sigh*


This was taken when I was at the Grand Canyon still.

Of course it cannot be helped that I take photos with my flowers.


I'm posing against the wall beside my bed, where I blu-tacked a photo of me and MK at the Grand Canyon last summer.


This was already in the afternoon, thus my skin being oily compared to the first pic. Hehe=)


Hmmm. =)


This photo would have been much nicer if not for the outside view from my window.


I took out my printed photos of me and MK and lay them on my bed with the flowers.


I let Mr Oinky join in.



These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive.
These are the moments I'll remember all my life.
I've found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more.

JOHN EVERETT FISHER
I'm keeping you.

SELF, FYP, etc.

Goooood morning world!!!

Okay, my part-time job here at SELF is the best part-time job evvvvaaarr. Because..apparently I can blog, surf the net, chat with MK, read the smorgasbord of books, magazines, and journals here; watch movies because we have quite a collection of CD's and DVD's, etc. I like it here because it's like a library, and if ever I'd be stuck anywhere (apart from being stranded in a tropical, white-sand beach island with MK), I'd like to be stuck in a library especially one with a Sidney Sheldon collection.

The first few weeks were stressful for me though. Everything's new, and it seemed like I had a million and one things to remember. Plus, I had to juggle it with the hell of a design project we had to do, thus resulting to me not doing my job properly, being scolded, and bawling my eyes out twice the first month. Hee!! But everything is more or less 'stable' now.

So now, my life revolves around FYP (final year project), SELF (my part-time job), and the two graduate school electives I have. Yeah, for my classes this sem, my classmates are Masters or PhD students, and there are only a handful of undergrads like me. In a way that's good because those 'oldies' (muahahahaa) inject a whole new perspective to the learning experience which I wouldn't have had a chance to expererience if I were just with mere undergrads with no knowledge of the happenings in the outside adult working world. But sometimes - no, most of the time, I feel disadvantaged because they know a lot of things they'd gathered from being more experienced, and well the grading system is based on a curve so I'm afraid they'd skew it to my disadvantage. Oh well, it's what you actually learn that really counts, plus the added benefit of getting to know some people who are already up there.

MY FYP...I love it and I hate it. In Friendster terms, the status of our relationship is It's complicated. Oh btw, I don't have a Friendster account anymore. ANYHOO. I've been seeing a lot of my FYP supervisor lately. As in like, everyday of my life I see her. My official schedule in doing my FYP is Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and most especially Friday...which is wholly reserved for FYP alone. But this Tuesday I had to do some sand sieving (which I have to re-do later), so I still went to the lab. Friday is a marathon for all the experiments and analyses, but I do stuff in advance because according to my supervisor, If not, Saturday morning also cannot finish!.

But I'm really glad I started early with my FYP. I've been doing my experiments and data-gathering for a few weeks now, and I'm getting the hang of things already. I really want to finish the bulk of my FYP (like, 75%) by end of December, so I won't have to cram during my final semester.

Okies time's up. I have to go sand-sieving again.

*-*

After 50 million years, I checked my hotmail account. I don't know whether to laugh, cry, get mad, feel relieved...basically I don't know what my reaction should be.

whatever ***.

Reason # 456276976

I love John because I can absolutely be my unadulterated, unpretentious, what-you-see-is-what-you-get self around him and I don't even have to worry about it. With him I am comfortable in my own skin and I feel good about myself, because he brings out the best in me.

US and A!!! (ala Borat)

GOSH!!! MAMA, TITO, and DADDY (not my papa) ARE GOING TO THE STATES AGAIN THIS SUNDAY!!!

Hmm, for Manny Pacquiao's match, coz tito is his lawyer. Walau, such perks!!!

BUT WHAT I'M SAYING IS, they would be closer to MK than I am right now. wuhuhuhuhuhu.

I WANT TO GO TOO!!!

I WANT!
I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT!!!!!!

MMMMMMKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

New Stuff

There are new things in my life that I am thankful for. Hmm, especially today, because today feels different (in a good way).

I'm grateful for the Bible study sessions (supposedly) every morning with Ivy, Cecilia, and Robinson. Supposedly, because some - or most - mornings I really cannot wake up on time for it. At first it was more of a duty/burden/chore for me, rather than doing it out of a willing heart. Haha, actually, it's only TODAY that I've prepared myself to do it with a willing heart. That's why I woke up right away when Shamoy gave me a morning ring. And even though I didn't get to go to church AGAIN today (I had 2 group project meetings because it's so difficult to find a common time for all of us), it still is nice to spend some time with friends learning more and acknowledging the presence of God in our lives. It's good to have people around to encourage you, and it's a relief to know that I am not alone in my struggles as a follower of Jesus.

Anyhoo. YOU DUG THE HOLE IN THE X Robinson! Haha.

And this morning, I just said a one-liner prayer: I hope I can give glory to you today, Lord. I think it made all the difference. There's a feeling of accomplishment today. The meetings were productive, and we are ready for our group project presentation tomorrow. YAAAY.=)

And dear God, thank you for your ultra-precious gift that even came in a very attractive packaging of dark blonde hair, mesmerizing emerald eyes, a macho nose, perfectly-arched lips, sculpted biceps and all. Hehe:) *sigh*

And thank you for my dinner that I am about to eat. =)

Gone with the Wind

I miss my passion in serving God. He used to be in the top spot of my priority list. I miss the warmth, the joy, the inner peace that living for Him everyday brings. I've had spiritual droughts many times before. I hate it every time. Maybe I've been a Christian for as long as I can remember, or at least called myself one, and once in a while there would came a point in my life where I'd wonder what if I lived my life differently. The Bible has super high standards and it's just so hard to keep up. I am not perfect, and I know I will never be in this lifetime, so why would I even bother.

Sometimes I'd try to put myself in the shoes of those who deny the existence of God. But every time I'd come to the same conclusion: I cannot detach myself from my belief that there is a God. For me, it's scary to think I am on my own, that I'd only be the one to carry the full weight of my problems. It's more outrageous for me to accept that the universe came out of nowhere, that there is no Divine Architect that created everything. It's disheartening to think that there is no afterlife, that there are no eternal consequences for each of my actions, because if that's the case then I might just as well bid farewell to this life whenever I feel like it. If not from God, where would I draw my hope and my strength, and from who else could I rely on for unconditional love?

God has always been faithful to me. It makes me sad when I can't do the same thing for Him, because there are times when I just don't feel like it. I justify that I own my life, and I'd do whatever I want with it. But whenever I veer away from Him, there'd always be a void that nothing in this world can fill. I find no satisfaction in pleasing only myself. I need God, I want to come closer, I want my passion back. I miss those moments when I'd want to do great things for God, no matter what.

But where is my drive? I seem to have lost it.

I Will Sing
Don Moen

Lord You seem so far away
A million miles or more it feels today
And though I haven't lost my faith
I must confess right now
That it's hard for me to pray
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that's in my heart


I will sing I will praise
Even in my darkest hour
Through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing I will praise
Lift my hands to honor You
Because Your Word is true
I will sing


Lord it's hard for me to see
All the thoughts and plans You have for me
But I will put my trust in You
Knowing that You died to set me free
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give grace
With all that's in my heart


I will sing
I will sing


Lift my hands to honor You
Because Your Word is true
I will sing

Divided Nations

It sucks that our group can't even have lunch all together anymore because...just because.

It hurts remembering.

Closure

Someday when I am sixty, I will look back to this day and appreciate you. For all the things we have gone through, the good and the bad, I will count them as blessings that I have learned a great deal from. I wish you love, I wish you happiness, I wish you everything a good friend could ever wish for another. Godspeed, peanut.

Speechless

Yo mk I've watched this only now hehe. So yeah I didn't know what you were talking about last time =p

PS

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRENSHIP BABA:) Heeeee=)

Don't Let Love Pass You By

I saw this sign at a gas station somewhere in the US.



"Don't let love pass you by." - Well, I almost did, but I'm glad I didn't.



You popped into my life without warning, at a time when I thought I didn't need anyone like you. I couldn't have been more wrong, as I would later find out. I want you to know, that you debunked my previous shallow notions of love, and I have never been more thankful that I am alive to experience what we have. I am willing to wait, if in the end I know I will have you by my side. And as far as I am concerned, the search is over. I already met you.

My Most Favorite Spot in the World

This is our backyard, my most favorite spot on earth. On some afternoons, we'd sit near the edge of the cliff, often overwhelmed by the majesty of the Grand Canyon that sits before our very eyes. We'd often wonder what's down below, or what's going on along the vast stretch that goes as far as the eyes can see. Or we'd look up, and see white clouds slowly turning into shades of orange and yellow and red, pale shades at first, then, suddenly, brilliant tones. For a few brief moments, the sky would be a canvas and the sun would splash its awesome array of colors with bold strokes. Then the bright orange ball would touch the mountain and within seconds would be gone. Another beautiful sunset, one of the few but memorable ones we've shared. We'd wait for the clouds to turn black to reveal millions of twinkling diamonds in the sky. We'd marvel at them, and savor the moment. But the wind would turn icy cold, and we'd slowly head our way back to the warm comfort of the Grand Canyon Lodge, hand in hand.

I miss you John.

Hands and Hoodoos

When I went to Bryce Canyon National Park with my relatives, I took these shots and sent them to MK.


















He also got to go there just recently, and his reply:

Hee so cute. =)