Ladies Day Out

It took a while for me to befriend my flatmates in Boon Lay. I was the youngest in the house and at first I felt alienated. But during my last week there, I've finally warmed up to everybody and now I miss my big sisters, because I don't have any real ones since I'm the eldest among the siblings in the family. Now I know why our youngest never would want to trade places with me.

Ate Imee (my closest roommate) and I

Ate J.Lo, Ate Dolly, and Ate Imee. Whenever Ate J.Lo sings, instead of requesting for a showdown, people want a shutdown.



We went to the Merlion area in Suntec and saw this newlywed couple walking past.



It made me want to jump off the bridge. But I remembered my promise to my father.



My immediate future part 1



My immediate future part 2. This is the construction site of the Marina Bay integrated resort where I'll be working.



Merlion


Other side of the bridge



I love nature. Yup.



Merlion, closer.

Keep Holding On

I will never give up because I love you.

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side
You know
I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
no I won't give in

Keep holdin' on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make
it through
Just, stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm
here for you
There's nothing you can say (nothin' you can say)
Nothing
you can do (nothin' you can do)
there's no other way when it comes to the
truth
So, keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late
This could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side
I will fight and defend
(ah ah)
I'll fight and defend (ah ah) yeah yeah

Keep holdin' on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just,
stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through

We'll
make it through

Hear me when I say
When I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change
Nothing's gonna change trust in me
Whatever's
meant to be
Will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah....

La da da da, la da da da da
La da da da da da da da da

Keep
holdin' on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make
it through

Ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh
Keep holdin' on
Ahh, ahh
Ahh, ahh
Keep holdin' on
There's nothing you could say
Nothing
you could say
nothin you could do
nothing you could do
There's no
other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
'Cause you know
we'll make it through
We'll make it through

Photo op

Me: Okay picture, picture!

Me: For the sake of this picture please pretend that you love each other very much.

Sumunod naman haha:)

But the truth is...

Atik lang Pao. :)

Home

This is one of the reasons I miss home, because I could just anyhow do this.

too late

*click image to enlarge*

Ha. This email came 6 months too late! I know I started out my job hunting roughly in January, and it had been a major distraction in my studies. When I replied to the job ad for this company, I was really hoping for them to want me back. I'd often checked my email to see if they'd already contacted me. But no. After months of waiting, I thought my application had plunged to the abyss and resigned myself to the fact that I'll probably never hear from them again.

I emailed them back and told them I've already been hired by another company working on the same project. (I got the job last March).

And most probably, the others on the mailing list have landed themselves jobs in other companies too. Most of the people I know in my cohort (at least those who attend the lectures), are already working now, or waiting for the employment pass to get approved so they could start work (like me). I don't think it was a smart move for this company to start the recruitment process only after graduation, when their rival companies have already been actively hiring since February (during the job fair in NUS) or even before that. And of course, final year students would want to secure a job as soon as possible, even if they plan to maybe travel first, because they usually have the option to defer the start work date.

Well, all the best in their recruitment process.

Everlasting

Thoughts while on the MRT yesterday (yes, I wrote it down on the back page of the booklet Chin gave me for CG):

God is so good. Everything really has a purpose. I'm glad I'm listening to that voice within me that says I don't have to worry, that everything is in control. God has already planned all my life's events even before I came to existence. I had been very anxious about tomorrow and days after that, such that I burden my present with worries that would soon prove themselves to be unfounded. God is so amazing, His timing is always perfect. I was in the Philippines at that time I was there because God knows that's what I needed, and even though I had been complaining about being in Singapore right now without nothing much to do and being lonely, I am here right now so I could attend dance practices for the Youth Day and give glory to Him on the actual day we will be performing.

Probably, my employment pass is taking so long to get approved so that I will decide to finally defer my work start date altogether to be with my family from July 10th-17th and have a fun-filled vacation with them.

****

Only God knows how much I am hurting these past few days, and I don't even know the reason why this is happening. Have I done something wrong? But if this hurt is what it takes to make me fully surrender myself to God, to finally make a decision to give Him my full trust and ignite the desire to serve Him, then I thank God for this pain. This too shall pass, and I know God will never leave me nor forsake me no matter what happens. And I mean, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.

In life, God had gven me victories over my struggles, and I had not been grateful enough to bring back the glory to Him. Now in times of great despair, let my lips praise you Lord, for it is during these times that I feel your presence the most. I love you Lord, and thank you for everything you've done in my life.

***

Though I may not undertsand all the plans you have for me
My life is in your hands
And through the eyes of faith I can clearly see
God is good all the time.

-Don Moen

Chase

I think everybody who knows me or reads my blog or has recently talked to me is aware that my current goal in life is to get that much-coveted US visa and to save for a plane fare to fly there. Since I came back from the US last summer, I've devised schemes and such on how to get back there as soon as possible. I've landed that Florida internship, and I was supposed to start this coming July 20th, but due to circumstances (read: money not enough) I had to decline it. Then came Plan B. And now we (yes, WE) have Plan C.

Sometimes I'd bitterly think of the if-only's. If only my family's one of those affluent ones that could afford US vacations and thus have no problem getting tourist visas for each family member. Or, if only I am a Singaporean citizen then I'd have the privilege of taking advantage of the visa waiver program, which doesn't require a visa to go to the US (terms and conditions apply of course). And if only the fiancee visa wouldn't take so damn long to process.

On the bright side, I am already a graduate (or soon to be, but I'm 100% done with my tertiary education anyway - just waiting for the ceremony itself). I am not bonded in Singapore or anywhere else. I am now free to go wherever I want to. I just need to acquire the resources I need to make my dreams into a realization. I have this main tool - my upcoming job that would let me earn and save money and make it happen.

Even though all this planning and struggling gave me more than enough headaches and frustrations, I still am going for it with more gusto now more than ever. I know every heartache has a purpose, because God is in control of everything and does not waste resources - even my tears. I know every single drop will be worth it, and everything will all come together beautifully in His appointed time.

I really pray for guidance everyday, because I am the type of person who finds herself letting her emotions reign more than her logic, and more often than not it's when it's already too late. And I also pray for wisdom to guide my decisions, and the strength to live with my choices.

I am here, ready to chase after my dreams again; but Lord, let your will be done in my life.

365 and 1/4 days of MKandSandslobness

I know between the two of us, he is the poet. But I'll try okay. :)

One year ago was the beginning of forever
Nothing in this world, I learned, we cannot weather.
Even 9543 miles nor days apart could not tear us
Years only enrich the love that we share.
Each and every moment of my waking hour
And as my heart beats, I always go about
Reminiscing and hoping for us to soon be together.

***

I'm a huge fan of Ala Paredes, her blog, and her artwork. And it just happens I could really relate to this too. I wish I could have the full version of this but I think she's particular about copyright stuff (of course she should be), so I only managed to get this without the watermark. If it's too small, the words read "What does it all mean without you?". I think that's her, looking over Sydney, where her family just migrated. For Valentine's Day, she sent a snail mail to the Philippines.

***

Right now my laptop sits on the same table where my house mate has hers, and she's talking to the other half of their long-distance love affair. Bits and pieces of petty fights, I-miss-you's, and other ingredients that make up a long-distance love chat cannot escape my ears. It'll only be 2 weeks of waiting left, and they will be together. I wish I could say the same thing about me.

But I know it has to be this way for now. I've finally learned to summon that elusive inner peace and surrendered this matter to God, because the more I struggle to have my own way, the deeper I get sucked into the pool of misery I'd almost been drowning in. It's time to trust again, and to keep on believing, because God does make all things beautiful in His time.

***

Bikoy, I know I tell you every day, but I'll tell you again. I love you. I first loved you the day I told myself I didn't. But love works in mysterious ways, and I am very grateful I can freely tell myself and the rest of the world that I love you, John Everett Fisher. I love you now, and I will always love you until my earthly body ceases to be. I will still love you even after that, because surely a love this strong can find a way how.

Happy first year anniversary mahal ko, and I know we will have a gazillion more to come. :)

Stolen Pic

I stole this picture from his mom's Facebook. I couldn't help it.