Happy Birthday MK :)

Happy Birthday mahal ko:) I celebrate this day because it's a reminder of the day God chose for the world to receive a wonderful gift - you. I just want you to know that you've been and you are a blessing to me, and I'm so grateful that I have you in my life. You bring out the best in me and I feel that I have my whole life ahead of me. I am enthused to wake up each day knowing that I have you with me always, even though we're physically apart right now. I look forward to the future, and I see you with me in it. We have so many dreams and we're gonna make all of them come true. I'm so proud of you John.

May God bless you richly and I hope you'll have many more birthdays to come!:) Hopefully next time I'd be there beside you to celebrate it. I'll always be here for you John.

I love you with every morsel of me, always and forever.

New

I already moved.

It's so lonely here.

I am surrounded by people but I feel alone, uprooted.

I am super glad I'm going back home tomorrow.

I don't want to come back here anymore.

:(

pooh

I can't believe someone would steal my Pooh bear stuffed toy :( It is so heartbreaking. I go to sleep with it and hug it every night, and I just washed it this afternoon coz I'm moving and I figured it needs to be washed already. It was the one John surprised me with when we were at the hospital for my hand surgery. :(

I was on the verge of tears while pasting handwritten notices around my residence.

Man, we are all in university already, why would anyone want to steal a stuffed toy??? Pfffftttt!!!!!! I am so pissed :(

Hopefully somebody would take heart and give me back my pooh bear. Walaue no stuffed toy has ever been so precious :(

I've always taken pride that in this residence none of my clothes have ever been lost or stolen when I do my laundry, but on my very last night here, this happens. What the heck?! I don't care if you steal the clothes I bought for myself, but this....it sucks so much. SOOOO MUCH!!!!

peekchoor

My friend Shirlyn commented on my Facebook that at least something good came out of (my) Work and Travel 2007 Grand Canyon experience. That's a severe understatement.

It's the best thing that's ever happened to me.

I can't believe this photo is almost one year old!!!

OH MY GOSH MY FIANCE IS SO HANDSOME!!! haha:)

My NUS Application Essay

I am currently packing my stuff, and I found this little treasure from five years ago. I was a bit more idealistic then. Haha:)

***

I was a blue baby, and I survived. I memorized all the planets making up the solar system even before I reached kindergarten. I graduated at the top of my class in kindergarten, became a consistent honor student the following years, and graduated as valedictorian in elementary. I dared to dream of becoming a Philippine Science High School scholar. And barely four months from now, I'd be a Philippine Science High School graduate.

It's nice to know that according to the Special Theory of Relativity, the laws of physics are the same in all inertial frame of reference and that the speed of light is equal to c, independent of the motion of its source. But I also value the things I learn outside the four corners of our classroom.

I value the lessons experiences teach me. I almost drowned when I was still a kid, and now I'm a good swimmer. I had cuts and bruises the first time I rode a bike, but now I take challenges in bike racing. Eventually, I realized that before I could get the roses, I would first be pricked by thorns. I learned that it doesn't always have to be perfect the first time. But as the old saying goes, practice makes perfect. I learned that it's okay to cry, but we should not wallow in self-pity. I learned that there would always be people who are wealthier, more intelligent, more good-looking, poorer, dumber, or uglier than the others. But there would never be anyone who is more human or less human than anybody else. In that way we are all equal.

I also learned that I can do anything. I can act, dance, sing, climb a mountain, cook a four-course meal in thirty minutes, do a cartwheel, scuba dive, bake 300 batches of cookies in one afternoon, fly an airplane, tame a ferocious lion, change a busted light bulb, invent a useful gadget, paint a picturesque view and make it seem so real...anything. If I really want to. And I won't hesitate if help or opportunity comes my way.

I can make my country better. I can alleviate hunger and poverty from my beloved country. I can do something to educate my fellow Filipinos. I can serve my country for the benefit of my fellowmen. And I will.

But I've got to study at the National University of Singapore first.

-Korinna G. Espinosa

***

Whew. And now I'm done with NUS. What a journey it has been. :)

Engin Talk

Random strangers hardly ever guess correctly which faculty I am from. When I went up the kitchen to get water, there is this frequent kitchen user who out of the blue talked to me. People in residences like the one I'm staying in rarely take the effort to get to know other people. Yeah I don't know the names of my neighbors if you want to ask. So anyway, when this frequent kitchen user found out I was from civil engineering, he absorbed the information with eyes wide open and his jaw dropped a bit. He's always thought I was from Arts because of how I dress. In my opinion I dress like any normal girl would. Other people would guess I am from Science fac. Anyhoo. Turns out that this frequent kitchen user is my junior after all.

***

People have different reactions and opinions when they find out that my first job fresh out of school would be as a site engineer. Some have been very encouraging, especially Prof Phoon and Tito Mon (Rovin's dad). But there really are other people in the world who have nothing better to say to me.

I promise this is the LAST time I am ever going to mention about my FYP self-imposed supervisor. I recently went back to the lab for the lab clearance, and to give her the CD with the softcopy of my thesis and raw data in it. When I met her she chit-chatted for a bit, so I thought wow, good, we would have a good closure. But now it appears she asked me things so she could throw some more rubbish at me. She was so discouraging - about my pay (which incidentally is the same thing my friend who's graduating with First Class Honours is getting, and I don't even have credentials like that to boast), about the working conditions, about how unsuitable it is for me, stuff like that. The last thing she told me was that she bets I won't last even one month at my new job. Ha!!!! I'll show this woman.

***

Anyway, I am moving out of NUS campus, my home for five years.

I appreciate more now the perks of being here that I've taken for granted. Do you know that I have classmates who never go out of this campus throughout the school term? The very basic things are provided for within reach. Of course if you're a social butterfly that'd be impossible, but engin people are usually, erm, kindaf timid so just being here's all good already.

Cheers to a new house, new life.

There's a Blue Sky Waiting Tomorrow

When I look at the sky and think of John, this is what I see:

I miss you bikoy.

I love you so much.

(super bangag na) math genius

I caught this on the local news one night a long time ago but I found it again on someone else's Multiply page haha:) Todo na itetch.

Cant sleep

I CAN'T SLEEP!!!!

Why did I have to drink coffee and tea tonight? I was just thirsty and that was the first thing I could get my hands to. The coffee. Then after I ate I drank tea for...I don't know why. I've been tossing and turning for about an hour now. Sh*t!!!!!

I wish I could just sleep. Especially when I'm waiting. I hate waiting. Especially when I am waiting for nothing.

I want to sleep.

David vs David, Sue Ellen, and the pretty girl at the bus

Now it's David vs David on American Idol, as many have predicted.

I am rooting for David Cook!

Out of all the performances in AI that I've watched, David Cook's rendition of Always Be My Baby (originally by Mariah Carey) is the most outstanding one. Not really because of the vocals, but it's more of the fact that he took a risk with that song, put a twist there and made it his own - which I honestly like tons better than Mariah's version. It was totally unexpected for me that this girly pop song could be sung like that. I even heard his version on the radio very recently when I was buying drinks at Cheers.



Maybe I'm a little biased too coz his recent song choices are my favorites! Like those songs he sang for the Top 3 night, Dare You to Move and I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing!!! And the first song he sang, First Time Ever I Saw Your Face...never heard of it before but when I heard him sing it I instantly liked it!

The other David, who they now call 'Archie' I think coz of his last name Archuleta...well...he is too erm, babyface, for my liking. I must admit he has undeniable talent in singing though.

In other news, for Pinoy Idol they've already chosen the Top 24 finalists and I really, really like this petite 16-year-old girl Sue Ellen. She's my favorite so far. She's so cute leh, like I want to put her in my bag and carry her everywhere, and when I want some music I could just tell her, "Sing" and she will. She's soooo cute.

Oh and just recently, I witnessed a very unusual thing while riding the bus. There was this teen school girl eating double cheeseburger inside the bus. As in like wow I was shocked, coz you're not supposed to eat inside public transpo here and there's very heavy fine for that, but there's this girl breaking the law for everyone to see! I searched for the no food and drinks sticker but I couldn't find one at that particular bus though. And she was sitting behind the staircase on that double-decker bus so she was totally out of the driver's view. Oh well. And she looked so innocent. And she's so pretty. Nakakatomboy!!! Haha:) She's of mixed parentage obviously. She has black hair but her facial features and built are Western. And I was thinking maybe my kid would look like her. So chio!!!!

love is like a bubblegum

...pag mupilit, makabuang.

When you are in love, most of the time everything seems rosy and happy and bright, the world is such a wonderful place, and you are a walking epitome of the adage that life is beautiful. It's so easy to say "I love you!" and even append that F-word every girl wants to hear - forever. But like how fairy tales are plagued with wicked stepmothers, witches, and dragons, love in the real world as we know it is also challenged from time to time.

What I hold very dear in my definition of true love is the one written in the Bible that says:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

-1 Corinthians 13:4-8

But when you claim to believe in something, I've heard that you must be prepared to be tested for it. This weekend I was tested to my limits.

Love is patient. Love is not easily angered. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love always trusts. Love always perseveres.

All of these things look so sensible and pretty as words, but try applying it in situations in your life and see if it doesn't break you. But that is the good thing about it, it breaks what needs to be gotten rid off - just like when people prune plants to maintain the health of the plant, or to increase the yield or quality of flowers and fruits.

This had been the biggest storm yet to come our way, but I am proud of our determination to work it out. There may still be a lot more to come, but I hope this experience of overcoming this obstacle would serve as an inspiration for both of us and give us strength and hope in the future when we need it.

To John, I love you so much. I know our love can conquer anything. Happy 11th monthsary!

:(

Wanted

Mukhang nangangailangan talaga sila.

Thank you God!!!

FYP oral presentation - DONE!!!

WOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!

And you know what??!!!!

It was better than I expected!!!

When I handed out to my examiner and to my supervisor the printed powerpoint slides of my presentation, my examiner said "Wow, you did a lot of work. Very impressive!"

In my head I was like, WOOOOOOOW!!! Really ah???? I think it is the ONLY time that a professor told me such nice words:) But the thing that came out of my mouth was : "Well I hope I could explain the results well." And then I started the presentation.

There were some hiccups here and there. Like, why the organic nitrogen increased in the effluent. I gave an explanation that I really thought made sense, but apparently the concept was wrong. Then my supervisor asked me how to compute the organic nitrogen values. Then I fumbled! I told them to wait for a while as I refer to my notes. Then I muttered: "The equation is in the excel sheets.." (stupid answer). After what seemed like an eternity, I told them, "Wait, let me organize my thoughts first". Then my supervisor said: "What, you still have to refer to your notes for the computation?"

And then...AND THEN!!! Suddenly a miracle happened and it was like there's a ray of sunlight passing through my very clouded thoughts which revealed the answer. Then I said very thoughtfully:

(Ehem, ehem) "TN = TKN + nitrates + nitrites. TKN = ammonia + organic N. From the ion chromatography test, you get the values of nitrates, nitrites, and ammonia. And then you have the TN value from another test. You just subtract the nitrates+nitrites+ammonia from the TN value then you get the organic nitrogen."

Then the whole time they were staring at me and nodding their heads in agreement.

WHOOOAAAA what a moment in my life. hahahahahhaha:)

And then what else...yeah there were still some more pogi points but the point is, it really was better than I expected! They were kind toooo!!!! No scathing remarks whatsoever!!!! Even from my supervisor.

I really liked the examiner. She's a female professor, so you know...motherly figure and all. I thought she would be tough but she was very kind when asking questions, and I really had to think on my feet while answering her questions. But the thing is, she thought the answers made sense and that's grrrreeeeaaaaaatttt!!!

Wow Lord thank you so much for the miracles today. Even for waking me up! I slept at 6:15 am today to polish the presentation, and I set my alarm to 6:45 am coz my presentation is at 9 am, and I thought of eating breakfast and calling John among other things. But I overslept!!! And the alarm clock didn't work! I woke up in a jolt at 7:45 am, and I heard laughter in my head when I woke up. Don't laugh but I believe the angels woke me up so I won't be late, and I had JUST ENOUGH time to do all the things I had to do...including getting dressed up of course, kneeling down to pray before leaving the room, calling John, eating yoghurt, and printing my powerpoint slides!

I only had 1 1/2 hours of sleep but I am feeling hyper! And I have to work later too 1-5pm. IT'S OKAY!!!!:)

All the glory and honor belongs to you Lord. :)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALWAYS BEING WITH ME, really, throughout this whole NUS journey...even when I pushed you away and thought I was all alone carrying all my problems. Thank you for the people you used to bless me too. My family, and of course my John!!! And my friends!!!!

JOSEPH!!! Thank you sooooooooooooo much for EVERYTHING too!!! For lending me your matric card and you computer lab, being my meal buddy, study buddy, and loan shark...hahahhahahahaha joke....NGA PALA I HAVE TO PAY FOR THE VACATION STAY NA as in right now, so I'll have to end this post na.

Yaaaaaaaaayyy!!! Ivy let's go house hunting na!!!!!

Yiheeee.:)

The Final Hurdle

What I feel right now is...

Well you know that time when Jesus was at the Garden of Gethsemane, after the Last Supper, and he was in great distress because he knew the hour had come for him to be arrested by the Roman soldiers, about to be tortured and crucified...and he fervently prayed:

"My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." (Matthew 26:39)

Well.

I am re-doing my Final Year Project thesis. I am going to submit a better version of the final draft tomorrow. It's so weird that the hardbound version is due AFTER the grades are released, so essentially they will grade me on the draft I submitted before. So, I requested if I could make the changes now and let it be considered for grading. I had major conceptual errors for the previous final draft I submitted and I intend to redeem myself. The final oral presentation is this Monday, 9 am.

Oh God there's no other way to get past this but to get through this. I am scared. God I need your help.

Love

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

-1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Wala akong ganang kumain (pero kelangan).

Wala akong ganang mag-aral (pero kelangan).

Gusto ko sanang magmukmok (pero hindi pwede).

Gusto ko sanang manood ng sine (pero walang oras).

Naiinis ako. Talaga.